Confessions of a college girl

Positive INK(PINK)

2012-01-14T02:37:00.000-08:00

I love rock, soft rock for that matter

I also love teddy bears and peace of mind

Not anxiety and fear

I love to think PINK

Positivity in writing

Positive INK

My pink personality does not allow me to be BLUE

So yea I hat Monday blues and songs dedicated to broken hearts

Blues

Break these words into two

Feed on the elegance in between

But do not over indulge for any substance in excess

Is harmful to your health

Speaking of matters of health

They say broken babies make broken ladies

And so am broken,

Broke

Can I get a broker for my heart?

There’s little of it left, but you can still get a dime for my heart

Don’t try to fix the broken pieces or stitch with broken needles

This is some delicate, emotional pink stuff

You can’t fix me unless am broken

And you can’t see am broken

I’ve blinded you with sweet words and a 24hr smile

“Smile, even though I hurt see I smile”

That’s my 2011^th favorite song

I love to sing it all day long

Coz everyday God gives me one more thing to smile about

How He can restore my heart after every bruise

He raised my heart from death to life.

There are no words, no songs

No poems to hide myself in

I lay myself down

Take me or leave me the way I am

But this is my moment

This is my mic just for this moment

Let me speak my life into it

Spit rhymes of hope and life into it

These words are getting physical

Spiritual, lyrical in essence

And you can’t stop a double edged sword

The word is alive and active

Cutting way through soul and spirit

It judges the desires and thoughts of the heart

I have a penny for your thoughts

How true and noble are they?

So come out, come out of the darkness and into the light

Light a candle, light a candle at night let it shine

Be free; be free to live a righteous life

And speak life.

A Black Woman's Song (part 1)

2011-07-12T08:35:00.000-07:00

This song is not a rhythmic song

Not a declaration of beliefs

Or a confession of transgressions

Not a quotation of dead figures

Or a silent chant among slaves

Not a quiet whisper in the chambers of torture

It’s a black woman’s song

This song is a black woman’s song

Of 40 years of civil war

Of wounded soldiers and fallen heroes

Of forced Islmazitaion and political executions

Of detention and torture

Of slavery and make-believe freedom

A black woman’s song

This song is a black woman’s song

Of colonization and invasion

Of a black woman’s dignity

The French infiltration

How her own slept with the enemy

The Turko-Egyptian incursion

A black woman’s song

This song is a song of strife

Of two men loving one woman

Britain and France fell for the southern beauty

Of how the best man broke her heart into two

Crashed her hope and spirit, her faith and trust

Long enough to elevate a part of her to dominate the rest of her

A black woman’s song

This song is a black woman’s song

A soft tired moan in the labor ward

As she rocks her new born baby to the tune of silent guns

Wrapped in a white soiled cloth, stained

Stained with blood, of broken soldiers and innocent babes

The Wau Massacre

A song of 49 poets

This song is a black woman’s song

MY POEM

2011-06-21T00:07:00.001-07:00

I don’t know what kind of poem my poem is

My poem could be a church poem

A love poem

A heart poem

Or a poem that is hurt

My poem could be a Kikuyu poem

Or a Kisii poem

It could be a Nairobi poem

Or a Mombasa poem

My poem could a white poem

Or a black poem

It could be a Kenyan poem

Or a Nigerian poem

My poem could be an African poem

Or an American poem

An English poem

Or a Spanish poem

You could fall in love with my poem

Or hate my poem

But if my poem is not on point

Please have no feelings towards my poem

My poem could be a fast poem

Or a slow poem

A loud poem

Or a soft poem

It could be a short poem

Or a long poem

My poem could be a hip hop poem

Or a Neo-soul poem

It could be bold poem

Or a shy poem

My poem could be a beautiful poem

Or a handsome poem

It could be an expensive poem

Or a regular poem

You could fall in love with my poem

Or hate my poem

But if my poem is not on point

Please have no feelings towards my poem

My poem could be a happy poem

Or a sad poem

It could be a delicious poem

Or a disgusting poem

My poem could be a by the way poem

Written by a by the way poet

It could be just another poem

Recited by just another poet

You could fall in love with my poem

Or hate my poem

But if my poem is not on point

Then that is not my poem

It’s just another poem

Letter to myself

2011-06-20T23:06:00.000-07:00

This is a letter from my spirit to my flesh

Letter to myself

Dear Grace

I don’t want to be anymore

Just want to go back to before

When I used to be the girl next door

It’s different now, am the one behind the door

Angry at the one before

Punishing the one indoors

Keeping the door unlocked

In case salvation runs its cause

This love between us is bitter-sweet

And I don’t want to be the last one standing on this isle

Waiting for a missile to blow me up into infinite portions

And the wind to blow me away in this crowded place

So that every particle of me can infect every part of you

That you may feel what I feel

When the sun doesn’t shine anymore in the middle of the night

I don’t want to be anymore

The air you breathe

A constant need

And when you’re through with me

You let me leave, no you push me out

I don’t want to be your heart

To pump life into you

Yet you never let me rest

I don’t want to be anymore

I don’t want to be in your skin

In this body that longs for sin

To consume this emptiness you offer

Drugs and sex that make me feel less

And the perfect kiss of death

That drains me of my strength and leaves me in deep distress

I don’t want to be your world anymore

I don’t want to be in your head

A constant thought in your cerebellum

You fall into a trance and keep calling my name

As I walk away towards my Father’s gate

You keep wishing I’ll trip and fall into your arms again

And you’ll feed me like a baby with rotten milk

That I may never grow in this spiritual realm

I don’t want to be your slave anymore

Am good with my hands but they’ll only serve my Lord

I don’t want to be within you and without you at the same time

That I serve you and I love Him in the same rhyme

I don’t want to be hot and cold, black and white all at the same time

I don’t want to sit on this thorny picket fence anymore

There’s a reassuring voice in my gray matter

Calming my anxiety

Reminding that salvation is not a mental condition that makes me feel all fuzzy inside

Rather a God given gift to keep me holding onto the unseen

And the righteous shall live by faith

Our salvation is only by grace….no not by me

Through Him and for His name’s sake

We received His grace

P.S …………………..Give up the chase Grace

He will always win…….

Yours sincerely

SMILING FEET

2011-06-13T02:31:00.005-07:00

I had 15 seconds of fame

Mirror, mirror in the wall

Who’s the hottest of them all?

Am stressing myself over this one date

Should I wear the oversized boyfriend shirt or

The daystrip surplice top

The idea was to look hot

And my black skinny jeans did that job

I’d settled for the purple beaded dangling loops

All I needed were shoes

The task at hand was now to shoose

The Jessica simpson chocolate croc peep-toe pump

Or the purple gladiator heels that had never seen my feet

I had to let one win

The final touch was on my feet

Dressing is like an art

You create every piece from your very heart

Display it but not for touch

For it to tell the whole world who you are

As I struggle up the hill

I see these small feet ahead of me

She looks so young, probably three

Walking to school on bare feet

Carrying her future in her back pack

For life is said to be about luck

You either have or you lack

So who handed that little girl such luck?

My conclusion, life sucks!

She turns back, looks at me

She’s at the top of the hill

Am still struggling with my heels

Trying not to trip

I can feel my shoes pinch

I wish I was on bare feet

Forgot what it’s like to simply appreciate little things

Always thought it’s about the looks

Till I saw the sores on her feet

Realized shoes were made to be more

Than leather to decorate my feet

More than a veil to cover my smiling feet

Superficial

2011-06-13T02:07:00.001-07:00

I wanted to go to a place that did not know me

Where the swag of my stride

Or the swing of my hips

Did not cause men to judge me and wish

Whether I was slim or blessed indeed

Would not define my social status

A man would love me for me

And not who I pretend to be

I wanted to a place that did not know me

Where the cars at DT Dobie would cease to be a dream

Expensive would be affordable

Not that the economy would trip

But my financial status would shift

For nothing I would own would really be mine

Borrowed or stolen from those who stole my own

I wanted to go a place that did not know me

Where the war of words would cease to be so cold

The House of Lords would cease to be a fighting zone

Where men of age fought with men of change

Where government and politics was less of a game

Leaders would up their game, update the status of the state

I wanted to go to a place that did not know me

Where the sun roe on the West

Such that my heart could rest

Take a break from its unending stress

Sleep and awake to find the world less of a mess

I wanted to go away

I wanted to go to a place that did not know me

Where my scars vanished beneath my skin

The stars that once lit in my eyes would reawaken

And the fire that burned beneath my feet would remain

For me to run from demons unseen

And the ashes of my sin would disappear in the wind

I wanted to go to a place that did not know me

Where perfection would be my middle name

For my actions would redefine the ethics of natural law

Where my Christian name would still be Grace

But I wouldn’t be the same

Perfect portrait, picture me not the same

I wanted to a place that did not know me

IN HIS MOTHER’S EYES

2011-05-14T05:42:00.000-07:00

In his mother’s eyes

He is still a child

Still trying to find

His way in this wild

Still blind, cannot see the light

She teaches him what’s right

But then he just fights

Takes to flight

Then comes back at night

Never sure if she might

Just leave him to freeze in the night

In his mother’s eyes

Even though he tries to hide

In these pleasures of life

She sees beyond life’s highs

Through all his lies

So he asked her why

Why she’s always by his side

She sighed! Said “When I saw you cry

As I held you so tight

I knew God had seen me cry

So He gave me a child of mine”

For nights she cried

Hoping his spirit had not died

Silently, as if it had not been alive

So when she heard that he

Had given his life to Christ

She just smiled, thanked God for He is kind!

So now, in his mother’s eyes

He is more than just a dream

She understands his inability

Knowing it’s not a disability

Rather an opportunity

To exploit his ability, capacity

To prove that there is a possibility

For dreams to become a reality

With all humility

He chose to view himself through his mother’s eyes

His father’s bride, wife

Partner through this life

Through her, God gave him life

Despite all their fights

They’ve made it through most nights

So he asked of the Most High

To bless this woman for all her strife

For now he knows that in his mother’s eyes

He is a reason to smile

Teenage Love

2011-05-11T05:36:00.000-07:00

It’s been the longest second since I said goodbye

The longest minute without your sweet vibe

The longest hour as I wait for midnight

The longest day without your sweet smile

Am barely breathing without you in sight

My heart is beating but not with much psyche

My body is weak and my judgment seems bleak

Until I see your face again, I shall not be in peace

They say am blind

But I see to clearly

They say I’ll be sorry

It’s them I pity

They say you’ll hurt me

But they don’t know you like me

Cause you’re the song I sing

The dream I live

The need I want

The future I see

The present I live

You make me complete

In you I find me